Tuesday, June 17, 2008

minus the media

I don't actually have a camera. I'm going to stop pretending I do. Steve gets credit for 99% of all media posted to this blog. The other 1% divides up 11 ways, the breakdown of which I don't care to specify. But if you're ever wondering why some of my posts do not carry weight, it's because words mean nothing. Pictures and video clips mean everything. And sometimes I'm too lazy to ask Steve for a picture. My sincere apologies go out to all your overly stimulated senses. Mine too, actually. I skim blogs the same way and get all depressed when after skimming I discover the only way to get any entertainment out of it is to read the words. It's the same reason kids don't want a story book void of pictures. It becomes a chore or task. Chores are what your mom makes you do before you can go outside and play. Tasks are what your teacher assigns you at the end of each class. You want neither. And by golly you sure won't do it if it's anybody else besides mom and teacher. So when you skim a blog looking for media to jump start your desire to read, and you find nothing, it better be a darn good friend or relative's blog or that engine ain't starting. Because if it does, you're sure not doing it for kicks and giggles--you know your hide's gonna get it if you don't read. And then, maybe then do you start reading. And if you're lucky, very lucky, it's worth the read and you stop reserving 9/10ths of your brain to plan out what you're going to do for entertainment once you've finished your chores. That said, 10 points to anyone who reads this. And I'll know if you're faking it because I'll ask you how many pull-ups my dad can do--something I'll swear I included in the post.


GreenTaiwan said...

I get the ten points. Actually how about 99% of all the points possible since I take 99% of all the pictures. The other 1% of the points can be divided up between whoever else chooses to read this post.

Sara said...

Ba ha ha ha! Wow...your dad can do 50 push-ups? So I don't think you have that problem of needing pictures to get people to read your blog...we all love to read what Joseph writes...that and we know our hides are gonna' get it if we don't.

Elena said...

Your dad is my hero!!
it should be everyone's pleasure to read your blog. Think about a payment for visiting it.

Anonymous said...

Damn media. my boy fyodor didn't have a camera. pictures are the devil's thousand words that nobody cares to take the time to write down. on acid free archival quality paper or by the dozens of megapixels, they're no friends of mine.
besides, they encroach on my consciousness...try to put their ideas into my head, like little thief scuba divers crawling through mine eyes to my brains with their viral visual distraction.