Tuesday, May 19, 2009

28 Reasons

I'm 28 today. I'm going to write 28 things I like about me.

This was my idea. No one put me up to it and no one else can have the credit, just me. Actually, it most definitely was not my idea. Someone put me up to it and I'm robbing them of all the credit. But you don't know that. You believe everything I say. So for you, just go ahead and believe me when I say it was my idea. I'm not going to stop you.

Your passionate, impulsive response to my idea: Wow. What a fantastic idea!! (please note that exclamation points are only used in referring to your response. I wouldn't be caught dead using one). I can think of 28 things I like about Joseph too! Nay, I can think of thousands! (I would likewise never use "nay").

You might decide to post a comment, encouraging others to join your quest of attaching to my already definitive list, 28 additional reasons to love me. This is, of course, completely unnecessary. My 28 suit me just fine. But since you apparently need it so badly, I will allow your commentary. If I were you, I would elaborate on one or two of the 28 below. For instance, number one--I look good--invites discussion. You may choose to rate my good looks on a scale of 10-20 (1-10 is insufficient, I graduated from that in 7th grade), or you may choose to describe certain aspects of my good looks, my attractive Christmas stache last year, for example.

The 28:

1) I look good

2) I always wash my hands after using the toilet

3) I can do 60 push-ups when I'm happy; 100 when I'm mad

4) I can ride 100 miles on my bike without telling the world I'm riding for a cause and asking for money.

5) I can sleep way better than Rachel, Becky, or Jared.

6) I remember lines from movies, even if I don't remember lines from what you said two minutes ago.

7) I'm potty-trained

8) I'm funny. Even Jared thinks so.

9) I write good.

10) Jared still likes me. Chances are he doesn't like you, so this is big.

11) I can be scolded, yelled at, accused of all forms of neglegence and still get everyone else to clean the kitchen while I stand there cracking jokes.

12) I have more leg hair than Ben, which is why I'm Grandma's favorite.

13) I have less mass than Ben, but can still eat more ice-cream, which is why I'm, Grandpa's favorite.

14) I don't use exclamation points or emoticons. Nor do I write "lol," and you still understand what I mean.

15) I was strong enough physically and mentally at age 1 to kick Rachel out of the cradle, or so the story goes. Rachel reminds me of this every time I see her.

16) I learned how to whistle at age 19. And they say you can't teach an old dog new tricks (turns out though, 19 is young, because I still can't roll my tummy like James and I've tried, I've tried).

17) I floss with a credit card at nice restaurants.

18) If girls don't like me they tell me it's not me. So I guess it's not me. It's them.

19) I'm Jared's choice for spotter when he's lifting weights. That's because under this thin, mass-less frame, he sees the real me, the strong and capable me, the me who can call someone bigger to help out if he can't get the weights off him.

20) I can do push-ups with 50 Chinese kids on my back (50= 6 or 7).

21) I don't drink and drive. I don't even drive. Sometimes I drink and ride, though. But I don't think there's a law prohibiting that, especially if you're just drinking water.

22) I play the piano, even when I don't have to.

23) I still walk on my knees over the carpet if I'm wearing shoes. I also still eat my vegetables.

24) I was 24 once.

25) Sometimes I like to go hot-tubbing with the boys in the winter. Then I jump out and make a snow angel on the lawn. Then I jump back in the hot tub. Then I experience pain all over my body. Then I do it again because Jared says it's cool.

26) Sometimes I light a match just to light a match.

27) I've loved deeply, and lost. Then I've loved deeply and lost again. Then I've loved again just because losing is so cool.

28) I don't do drugs. I don't have to. You laugh at my jokes, and apparently that's all the high I need.


thack said...

Joe is cool because... not only is he n-e-g-l-i-g-e-n-t in proofreading his blog on occasion (which gives a grammar guru like me something to do with my mundane life), but he even lets me publicly correct him 555.

Miss Kate said...

Isn't #7 implied 2* to #2? #19 - Joe, you're pretty strong in your own right, no need to qualify it, esp with that example (pretty much all you need to do is to be able to take about 10 lbs off so they can over come the rest. a 10 yr old can take 10 lbs off). Glad you're still kickin, sugar.

greysquirrelb said...

Joe! I looooove your post...keeping true to form...nice. Check my blog for a bit about JoeCool. As I said, I loved your post...actually, I was surprised you didn't put more things in about how you are better than something or someone else...you're getting humble in your old age ;) Just kidding. You're hilarious.

greysquirrelb said...

I love your face. Love it.

mandy and joel said...

How did you manage to win the talent competition in high school with a whistling quartet if you didn't learn to whistle until you were 19?? Or was it because of the quartet that you learned to whistle? :)
Happy Birthday Joe!!

joseph said...

I learned to whistle for that competition, which makes our success even more inspirational. I made James teach me.

Elena said...

hope you'll find the 29th thing you like about yourself during the 29th year of your life

Maren B said...

Well, I guess all of that proves that you are pretty cool, like they say. I guess. But mostly because of #7.

Happy Birthday! Glad you were born!

Emoticon! LOL! OMG! !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Different EMoticon!

greysquirrelb said...

I like that Joe loves little kids...especially when it involves 50 little Asian kindergarteners on his back while he's doing push ups...again 50=6 or 7.

greysquirrelb said...

Joe has a great laugh...especially when he's really laughing...it often looks like he's trying not to cry :)...but then he doesn't have to...Abbs is usually nearby laughing to tears for him ;)

(no shame is attached with any type of emoticon there)

greysquirrelb said...

Joe plays the best jazz piano...especially when someone joins like Ben on the piano, Rach with her voice, Abbs on the piano or the trumpet, or Gramps singin' along...or whoever else joins the experience. I can sit for hours to any music you make.

Candi said...

Wow. I hesitate to comment at all. I'm really just not worthy. But let's face facts: Joe, you rock. At everything. Well, not Indian Leg Wrestling. I could still kick your trash there...But this isn't about me, it's about you.

Emmy said...

I love Joe because he can cook. He introduced zucchini brownies to me and my life has not been the same since. He made me a lemon merengue pie for my birthday, too. (Only Joe and my mother share that claim.)
comment: I can't believe you learned to whistle for that quartet! That quartet inspried this comment from me "I need to find someone like Joe, only older."
(Rachel responded "There's my brother, Ben...." And I rolled my eyes.)

Elena said...

I like about Joe that he speaks russian and that he served a mission in Russia.
I also like his curly hair.

Meagan said...

Happy belated, bday Joe. I think my favs are #10 and 24.

Meg O said...

What I like most about Joe is his humility. And the fact that he's always in a good mood, always. And that he cares greatly for the cleanliness of our Nation's highways. Much love to ya brotha.

Mary said...

There are a lot of comments on this post, so I'm a little concerned that mine's going to get lost in the crown of more punctual commenters. But I couldn't help but ask you... WHAT are you doing using SCALES (even if they're not 1-10)?!

And I like you.

Mengjun said...

8) and 9) are true, I like 6) and 26), and I deeply doubt 27). Have a happy summer in Russia !

Abigail said...

JTLYK (just to let you know), Liz expecially asked me if I was potty-trained yet, and I let her know that I was getting there...been working on it with Caleb for the last month =) Hope you'll be alright with a nice present in your bed at Christmas.

hbc said...

Thanks for leaving this up - still good for a laugh or two or three.

I must say your commentators seem somewhat biased toward the lovely kind. Can't understand that.

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